F-14 "Tomcat" Fighter Jet To Retire This Week - Wants To Spend A Little "Me Time"

 

After more than thirty years of service as the United States Navy's premiere supersonic fighter, the venerable F-14 Tomcat is heading out to pasture. The plane, made famous in the Tom Cruise movie Top Gun, flew its last combat mission in February, and will be officially decommissioned this week.

According to a prepared statement delivered by Navy spokesman W. A. "Butch" Gladhander, the venerable F-14 was looking forward to enjoying a little fishing, and maybe some travel. "As you can probably imagine," said Gladhander, "it would be nice if the Tomcat just for once got to visit a country without bombing its radar installations."

Gladhander went on to say that the Tomcat was also planning to do some consulting, "... just to keep the rust off the old sidewinders."

Asked about the F/A 18 Hornet, the slimmer, faster attack fighter that will be replacing the F-14 in the fleet, Gladhander said, "Of course the Tomcat has the greatest respect for the younger guys just coming up. Given some time and experience, the Hornet ought to do just fine - even though a 3-G turn on afterburners will probably rip its wings off."

According to Gladhander the F-14 Tomcat will celebrate its retirement at a GPS-targeted celebrity pro-am golf tournament in Miramar, California, then move into a two-bedroom condo in Vero Beach, Florida.

So the next time you see an F-14 cruising along at subsonic speed in the supersonic lane, with its left turn signal blinking – well, just try to have a little patience.

Copyright © 2006, Michael Ball